I was sitting in the hospitality class at Wiphan yesterday singing and praying with my friends. Every knee was bowed, nearly every eye closed as we knelt on the ground in worship to the Lord; personally and corporately.
We were singing slow songs of prayer to our Lord. One song, which we sang in Bemba, translated means, “Just take me as I am. Just take me as I am. Lord Jesus Christ, who died for me, just take me as I am.”
I was kneeling on the ground as we sang this song. I opened my eyes for a moment and saw my hands. I noticed all these imperfections on my hands: I have a bad case of eczema on my wrists, and I have numerous cuts, blisters, calluses, bug bites, etc. on my hands and arms.
I saw all this and realized my imperfect state. I was crying out to God to “just take me as I am” and I realized in a very real way how imperfect I am!
I saw my wrists and hands and God spoke to me and said, “This is your heart.” My heart is as ugly and imperfect as my hands and wrists are! I felt overwhelmed by my sin and how unworthy I was to be asking this of the Lord; asking Him to ‘take me as I am’. I’ve sang this song many, many times, but yesterday it was real to me.
I’m thankful to God for putting that into perspective for me yesterday. One struggle I have is seeing sin in my life. I’m always quick to excuse, blame, deny any sin I’m faced with. But having that visual of seeing how unattractive my arms were, and then realizing my heart looks the same, I was completely overwhelmed. I thank God for making me truly broken over my sin and helping me to see how unworthy, sincerely unworthy I am!
So now, I cry out to God when I sing that song. If I sing this song with my heart in the right place, what a truly humbling song it is! “Just take me as I am..” I am humbling myself before God and admitting my unworthiness and imperfections to Him. I am admitting that I need Him….